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[04 Dec 2005|10:54pm]
once again its sunday nite and got home from PA about 3 hours ago. i hate leaving so much...this weekend was quite an exerience though...kerrin like running away and turning up 2 floors down in the boys bathroom lol but each n everytime i gota say it...i love him...

shitty update but im gona get upset if i keep writing and i have a shitload of homework to do for tomorrow.
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[20 Nov 2005|11:29pm]
so once again, i just got home from PA again...well like 4 hours ago but still. although there were some issues(just like always) it was still fucking amazing. i love him so much its unreal. like everytime he does something stupid n it makes me mad he's right there to fix it all. kyle made me this cd for this weekends ride out to PA and it had the pussycat dolls new song stickwitu on it. the lyrics made me cry on the way home because its me n rich. its such a project to do this whole distance thing n see each other once every three weeks but in him i see something i havent seen in anyone...ever. like a part of me wants to like get right back into my car n go back to PA n be wit him and everytime i see that welcome to NJ sign coming home i wana take the next exit n go back. three weeks doesnt seem that long and sometimes it doesn't, but other times it feels like forever. and for some reason, i feel like since what happened this weekend happened, i can trust him more.

i must stick wit uCollapse )
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[23 Oct 2005|10:49pm]
[ mood | sad ]

so i haven't updated in along time. i've jus been going to classes, the gym, work and babysitting basically. this weekend was so much fun. i went back to ESU for round 2 and me n kerr smoked n jus had a good time. me kerr jess and leanne went to ruby tuesdays for dinner and it made me wana be away at school n not be home here...as much as i love it i hate it all at the same time. it drives me crazy being home sometimes. i love my parents to death and all that but going away for the weekend gave me a break and it was nice. i really didn't wana leave esu today, but i had to. i left at like 5.15 partially cuz me n kerr didn't wake up til 1.30 this afternoon. i saw rich last nite and we talked about alot. i feel alot better about it now. but it sucks seeing him like once a month cuz it jus fuckin kills me. i know everyone got mad at me for going and talking to him but i did it because of a reason. because even tho shit happened he still means alot to me and i know that he wouldn't do it again. you all may think that i'm giving him too much credit but no body really knows him like i do. idk its jus weird. i saw rich again today before i left for like an hour and i didn't wana leave him again today. its soo hard to say goodbye n it seems like such a blur i hate it. but hopefully we'll see each other a lil more now...ughh emotions.

well i dont really have much to say...seems to be a thing everytime i update. halloween is in a week n im not being anything i decided. yup.

peaceeeee ♥

1 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[20 Sep 2005|10:37pm]
retail therapy with kyle today....

♥new shoes
♥new socks
♥new coheed cd
♥new jeans

great effin day!
2 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[04 Sep 2005|12:03pm]
so everyone left for school and summers just about officially over. it sucks...i totallly feel like this isn't supposed to be happening yet. i feel like in 3 days i'll walk right back into squan and have it be the same..i guess it'll be a nice change to not see everyone all the time..i had a good summer i think...went to concerts, met amazing people, smoked, drank, the whole 9. but the more n more i think about how everyone left for school it makes me depressed. i wish i went away to school cuz this lil ol' town is so dead without my girls here....i keep thinking i see like megans car and nicoles all over the place but its not them...obviously. i realized alot this summer too...about mistakes and regrets from the past. now i know why things ended and why we stopped takling. - that was a regret....i did something last nite that i truly regret....i never learn...i met rich as most of u guys know already and i dont kno what to say about that...i like him n everything and its hard cuz we never talk cuz hes always busy "partying" so i've been upset and pissed off alot lately. i've also cried alot more then i have in a while this summer cuz of everything...people leaving, people being assholes, making mistakes, having regrets. i've fought with my mom alot this summer too and that sucks cuz besides megan she is like my best friend so it jus sucks...she did say i can get a tattooo tho...so that's cool i mean this morning we fought over stupid shit but i mean i have been kinda on edge lately about alot...i'm jus like so upset over everything lately..i need a break from this life to go away and kinda forget about everything for a little while. thats why i hope that next weekened i go to ESU to see kerrin and matt.. i was planning on going to see rich but he doesn't really seem like he wants to see me so im not gona bother him about that. so i'll go party it up at ESU forget bout some shit and have that be that. i miss my friends alot...like i realize we really are growing up n its weird...in 4-5 years all of us are going to have real jobs and maybe even start families...all my girls n me have been thru so much shit together and i kno thats gona keep us all intouch even if we all dont stay as close as we started out to be i know that one day, when were all grown up we'll see eachother n kinda have it be like crossroads...in the end we'll all be together having the time of our lives...i know that thanksgiving is in like 2 months nd im gona see all my freinds then so i got nothin to worry bout but girls i want you to know i miss you like hell even if we dont really talk anymore you know who you are!

14 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[09 Aug 2005|11:33pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

so yeah...

this is what happened at starbucks tonite when Dave n Erik did my hair....with the flowers haha

2 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[03 Aug 2005|03:03pm]
so my scheule for this week n next is like this...

tuesday - work 8-2 n 4-8
wednesday - babysitting 6.30-?
thursday - work 4-8
friday - work 4-8
saturday - babysitting like all day
sunday - work 1-6
monday - going to PAPA might be back in now....
tuesday - work 4-8
wednesday - court @ 9am & babysitting 4.30 - ?
thursday - work 4-8

hopefully sometime next week i can go to pennsylvania n see rich before he leaves...it sucks he lives so far away.... :(
pull the trigger

[01 Aug 2005|10:43am]
okay so i haven't updated in like forever....so i'll try to recap everything thats happened since whenever....

June 21st i graduated and im happy....well right this second not happy but happy bout being out of the drama that goes along with the best four years. some arab lady hit me and my car was in the shop for 3 weeks i quit my job at Lola's and started a new one at the atlantic club in the nursery. i met an amazing guy from pennsylvania and i went to see him n he cam down here ummmidk what to write really i mean a bunch of little stufff happened.

everyone is leaving for school soon and im not really sure i can handle not having my friends here when i need them, but they kinda arent around now anyway but its okay.... i guess my cars gona have tons of miles on it this year visiting people...it jus sucks...i feel like i didn't have enough time with everyone whos leaving especially the guy i met...he leaves in 11 days n is doin football shit but im gona stay positive n we're gona keep talking and everything n i was tlakin to my mom n she said i could always take trips up to PA so whoever goes to school in PA i'll see ya haha

thats bout it for now i guess....summer 05 isn't what i expected.
pull the trigger

[03 Jul 2005|07:42pm]
thats hot

1 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[05 Jun 2005|09:28pm]
well i thought i'd take this time to update the lj a lil bit. nothing really new and exciting is happening in my life except i'm finally graduating. i used to be like ughh get me out of here (i still am) but it's really sad that i'm leaving a comfort zone kinda. its our last full week of school this week coming up. oh well...im looking forward to it but not all at the same time.

saturday i woke up at 5am for the special olympics (i'll post pics soon!) and that was an amazing experience. each athlete had their own escort and to see them happy was so cool. they had so much fun, there was their events that each athlete had, music, food, etc. it was really cool. i got to hang wit some friends and buddies too. it was a really long day but also just amazing, i can't even describe it. i saw the cutest baby, Leo, who had downs syndrome.

baby leoCollapse )
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[01 Jun 2005|12:38pm]
this weekend was alot of fun and alot happened.

-benny party
-track ended
-bbq at lins and party after at shelby n steves
-cut school

it was nice. i talked to someone who i honestly didnt think i'd talk to ever again. that was actually pretty nice too. i have alot to think bout tho. sorry i said i hope u get shot in the foot. hah. i have so many thoughts and feelings going thru ny head right now its weird to be in the situation. i missed it all.

anyway im gettin my nails done today and that's really excited. i havent gotten them done since prom. intense i know

1 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[06 May 2005|12:05pm]
i never knew how much my brother cares about me. last nite i was crying over some stupid ass guy named jesse who should seriously be shot in the leg or something, and he was like what's wrong and i said nothin n he kept asking if i was okay. i know deep down he jus wants to know who to beat up. i'm so happy he really cares.

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[03 May 2005|05:28pm]
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Quiz created with MemeGen!
1 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

so it begins.... [25 Apr 2005|07:20pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

they say you can't miss something that isn't there.
lose him.
don't let him bother you.
don't take shit from him.
i think i know you're not who you've showed me recently.
i dont' want to second guess what we have, but i'm starting to and i can't help it.
i guess i just want things to be perfect.
but perfection takes 2
maybe i think too into things but its hard to know my true feelings when i have nothing to work from.
i have no idea whats going on.
i've been waiting so long for something good to happen.
someone good to come along and sweep me off my feet.
and i think you did it.
but for once i think i deserve something amazing.
my weakness is that i care too much.
i always try to help people out, but for once when is it truly going to pay off?
you really do mean alot to me and i don't want to lose you.
but i feel like its too late for that now anyway.
so maybe this is goodbye?
i'm hoping its not.
praying it isn't so.
hopefully this is just some sort of way for you to show that you care?
let me tell you that if it is ur way of showing it, you're fucking weird.
but i can take that.
i can work wit that.
i love being with you.
spending time in your arms.
kissing you.
seeing you infront of me.
hugging you.
i really think that something good will happen out of this if you want it to.
i understand you're busy with school and don't want anything.
thats why i've stuck around.
because you're 100% worth it to me.
i, at this point, would do alot for you.
that's not really like me.
you've made me think alot since i've met you.
but i don't regret one single second of it.
if i could do it all over, i would do it the exact same way.
i'm starting to fall, too far, too fast, i think.
i could stop myself, but im hoping you'll be at the bottom waiting to catch me.
let's just see what really happens.

will there ever be a guy thats like this
Smell her hair. Pick her up & pretend you're going to throw her in the pool.. she'll scream & fight you but secretly, she'll love it. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand while you drive. Just hold her hand. Tell her she looks pretty. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her. Tell her stupid jokes. Tickle her, even if she says stop. Slow dance with her. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Get her mad, then kiss her. Tease her. Let her tease you back. Stay up with her when shes sick. Kiss her forehead. Let her wear your clothes. Go slow. Dont push anything. Kiss her in the rain. & when you fall in love with her, tell her.

3 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[13 Apr 2005|02:20pm]
You are Summer Wheatley and you hate cake.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hah i'm home sick today with strep and just 3 weeks ago i was sick with a sinus infection. what next? i better not get sick in 3 weeks cuz thats prom n i'll be pissed.

ohhh prom. prom prom prom P-R-O-M yeahhh we just wont talk about that one.

alright cya later i guess
1 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[04 Apr 2005|09:16pm]
today i gave blood...i have b+ blood which is rare...i think im pre-pmsing cuz im crying for no reason...wow seriously fuck emotions. the new boy in my life is great. i think i deserve it.

SoFkNgGlamorous: your GORGEOUS your funny your nice your fun to be with and i love every single little thing about you and i know that guys would be lucky as hell to have a gf like you!

thats what lin said bout me...friends seriously are amazing.

well nothin 2 really update about. except when i gave blood they take a pint. i pumped out a pint in 7 minutes, which the blood taker lady said was fast so go me! haha

leave me love..i need it
5 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[28 Mar 2005|11:55am]
results of being boredCollapse )
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[21 Mar 2005|07:17pm]
[ mood | whatever ]

so the musical is over. it's sad in a way but not. my drama career ended in the fall. but it's really over....high school is almost over. i need break to come fast. i kno its only 3 days away but i need it to start like...tomorrow...i'm getting sick and it sucks. i can't be sick over break. hopefully i'll go 2 NYC and Philly as planned but who knows. hopefully i will also hangout wit someone...but who the fuck knows....im kinda in a bad mood right now n idk why but its i guess pms, being sick n being ready for something new.
what the fuck ever.

leave me ♥

2 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

[15 Mar 2005|04:33pm]
just wanted to give a tiny update.

you're so fake it hurts.

♥ enjoy your day.
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two days in a row [08 Mar 2005|03:13pm]
ok usually i stop writing cuz i dont get comments n that makes me mad but whatever. today its snowing obviously if ur blind u can't tell. track got canceled which was nice so i think im gona take a nap. i have a pretty boring life. today is someones birthday and you know who u are i don't wana shout u out cuz u don't want ne1 to know. so have a nice day everyone if anything fun happens between now n bed i'l let ya know.

2 dear claudio0! || pull the trigger

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